“Life should have a road map but unfortunately it does not – so we all look for our own direction.” – Running dad.
Holy smothered dairy cows, its another bleeding update from the skinny runningdad?! Yep – sharing whether you want it or not. Strap in for the ride or avert your eyes and carry on.
Hope this helps anyone struggling with life, depression or just direction in this cavernous existence – if I even reach one person its worth it.
Depression or not
I cannot even qualify to be part of a study on depression! I have escaped the jaws of the beast of negative thought and at best have a mild mood disorder and annoying remnants of depressive moments. Its a good thing. I have used all the resources I could find and had access to – to get here (EAP, counselor, life coach, meditation, journal, running, blogging and research etc.). It has been hard and still is but I feel I am on the road out to somewhere positive.
It is still a bit of struggle to always be positive (who can do that?) but I try and look at getting to know myself better, learn from my past and become a stronger, more self-confident, more positive person.
Very soon I will officially be divorced and its an odd feeling and where I am now in my life I would never have imagined — its weird, but it is what it is. I am alone with my daughter every second weekend and on a search for a more fulfilling job and a way to incorporate my passion for healthy, active living and a need to help people into my life.
Have I found my direction? – no not completely but I think I know where I am and need to go. I will be focusing on three areas of my life and looking to take small steps towards these goals.
- BEING HAPPY – we all create our our world by how we think and the decisions we make. I am hoping to look inward and focus on being positive and move towards a more positive me – I think this will help my other two goals. Life is short and I hope to try and explore as much of it as I can while being a good dad and role model for my daughter.
- Why a black coat when I can wear a fun, cool orange one
- Why just another marathon in some city when I can run up mountains, explore new countries or push myself?
- Why not try something, why not have fun, why not try?
- RELATIONSHIP HAPPINESS – I believe being positive and making good choices will attract similar people in my life and perhaps will lead to finding someone to share my life with. I want to learn from my past and move forward. I want to be honest and open. I believe in not trying too hard, am a bit of a romantic and believe real love only comes along so often. I want to be strong alone but life is hard alone and would like someone in my life.
- I fell in love last year unexpectedly but life can be complicated and I may be in the worst love story ever (throwing shoe at TV worthy). Will it work out? I don’t know – but few things in life are certain. I remain positive, I run, I hope, I move forward.
- JOB HAPPIENESS – this one is as tough as the other ones. I could not go back to my old job and needed a change and a fresh start. I needed to explore trying to combine passion and skill-set – to see if I could help people and maybe make a living from it. I think I would be sad later if life to think I had never tried.
Had enough? Head on table, sleeping in a pool of your own drool? I understand. A few more words and I will let you go.
If anyone out there wants to share or reach out please do so – love to hear from you!
Keep lacing up friends and see you out there – with a smile!